history
Today was a rough day. In fact the past couple of days have been rough. This year has been one of the hardest years of my life. In May my dad was put on hospice care after a continual fight for his life since October.June 23rd he passed away at home. I was across the country. In March my husband Matt, became very depressed. When he gets depressed he becomes very quick to anger and loses control of his emotions. He started seeing a counselor in May and was diagnosed in June with ADHD. He was kind enough to put me on an airplane the day after my dad died with our youngest while he drove with our remaing 5 kids across the country. He is in a different world without his medication. If he misses a day then the next day is really rough for me. He just is short tempered and can't really relate to anyone or maybe just me. Joseph our 11 year old has always been a challenge as he has faced many challenges. Joseph has anxiety and Sensory processing disorder. He was just barely diagnosed in November with ADHD. Medication helps him but it is normal for there to be a major blow up daily over tiny things. Joseph has many food aversions. I never know what he will eat or won't eat. Then there is 11 who is 12. Eli struggles to focus. He is a good kid. I think he has ADHD but hasn't been diagnosed. He hyper focuses, struggles to pay attention. Homework takes him twice as long as his siblings. Not because he can't do it but because he can't focus and is so easily distracted. Peter is 8 I am not sure if he has ADHD but he is definitely learning the behaviors of his brothers. Oliver is 6 and he is extra sensitive and probably has ADHD. He struggles sometimes to stay on task and when he gets angry he hits and screams. Reagan, is 15 and the oldest and only girl. She struggles to go to bed and stresses over school. I don't think she has ADHD but she puts a lot of stress on herself. Briggs is 2 he is a happy little boy and brings so much needed peace into our home.
I needed a place to put my thoughts down on paper. I am really struggling. I am told on a daily basis that I am being grumpy. That I am really mad. I am often snapped at and very much under appreciated. It is almost 11. I have to be up at 5:30 to make sure that Reagan gets up for early morning seminary. Eli just barely went to bed 5 minutes ago. I get very little slip and my husband will ask me why I don't just go to bed. I can make chore charts but because my husband doesn't adhere to a schedule I become the only enforcer. Eli went to bed upset at me telling me I was really mad at him because I said he had to go to bed at 10:40PM.
I love my kids and I love my husband but sometimes I hate ADHD. I hate how it affects my family and I hate that my husband will never fully understand how it affects me because he deals with it differently.
I needed a place to put my thoughts down on paper. I am really struggling. I am told on a daily basis that I am being grumpy. That I am really mad. I am often snapped at and very much under appreciated. It is almost 11. I have to be up at 5:30 to make sure that Reagan gets up for early morning seminary. Eli just barely went to bed 5 minutes ago. I get very little slip and my husband will ask me why I don't just go to bed. I can make chore charts but because my husband doesn't adhere to a schedule I become the only enforcer. Eli went to bed upset at me telling me I was really mad at him because I said he had to go to bed at 10:40PM.
I love my kids and I love my husband but sometimes I hate ADHD. I hate how it affects my family and I hate that my husband will never fully understand how it affects me because he deals with it differently.